syllabelle

Wow! I got up this morning, took a shower, and stepped out for my morning weigh-in. I was flabbergasted. 15 pounds! I know it’s not just about a number, but that number feels good. Every pound is a victory, every 5 pounds feels like cause for celebration, and this feels like a huge milestone. I’m within 5 pounds of my first mini-goal!

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I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do when I hit my mini-goal.

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-First, I’m going to set a new mini-goal. That way I don’t forget that this lifestyle change doesn’t stop just because I dropped 20 pounds. A new goal will remind me that I’ve still got a lot of hard work ahead of me.

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-Second, I’m going to reward myself. I’m thinking I’ll go to the bookstore and buy something juicy to read. I love books!

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-Last, I’ll probably go buy myself a new outfit. My pants are starting to fit a little loose, and my butt looks like I’m wearing a diaper, so it’s time to “size-down” a bit. I’m not going to go buy a whole new wardrobe, but a few key pieces are necesseties.

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Mmmmmmm…shopping!

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We’re going this evening to pick fresh blackberries. A handful of fresh blackberries, with a little dab of cool-whip light…yummmy snack! We might try to pick up some sand plums, too. I LOVE fresh-picked fruit! (Fresh-fruit smoothies. Fresh-fruit slushes. Frozen fruit pieces. Fresh fruit in plain yogurt. Mmmm. I think I’m hungry.)

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yAy for humpday!

Yesterday my fiance and I went out to dinner with a group of friends. They picked the place: a Barbecue joint. Everything looked and smelled so good. I swear, I could have just dived right into the pan with the BBQ sauce in it and went swimming, it smelled THAT good. I opted for smoked chicken breast (with about 1 teaspoon of BBQ sauce “because a little goes a long way”, green beans, and corn on the cob (no butter or salt.) I had a bite of my fiance’s baked beans because he said “they’re SOOOOoooOOoo good” and one bite of his fried apple pie because I just wanted it. I think that given where I was, I did really well. Plus, we ate dinner at 6:00, and I didn’t eat again after that.

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I’m really working on trying to stop eating by 8:00. I do ok for the most part, but if I do get REALLY hungry I try to have a low-cal snack like a piece of fruit, or carrot sticks, or a handful of my favorite Kashi cereal.

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I’ve probably mentioned this 500 times already, but I bought an elliptical through eBay, and I’m just waiting for it to be delivered to me. I thought I’d have it by now, but I guess I shouldn’t think so much. My fiance’s dad is going to bring it from Arlington, TX to me in Oklahoma City. He said yesterday that it’s VERY NICE, and that it belongs in a gym somewhere. He actually suggested that my fiance and I open a “fitness room” at a little shopping center near where we live. (Uh, no? Can we say “liability?”)

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I almost wish we could do something like that though. Seriously, the city we live closest to has a population of about 15,000…and there’s not ONE gym! There are over 40 churches, and 15 daycares, but not a single gym. There is a Curves center, but that’s NOT my thing. So if I want to go work out, I’ve got to drive about 20 miles, and with gas at almost $3.00 a gallon, it’s just not feasable. (Home gym, here I come.)

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Anyway, this is starting to sound like a rant and I need to be getting ready for lunch. I’m going home to have a tomoto-mozzarella salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing and baked chicken. (Nothing like home-grown, fresh-picked tomatos this time of year. Mmm.) I’ve already drank 40 ounces of water today, and with the temperature still on the rise, I’m sure I’ll drink at least 40 more. *sweat*

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Hope everyone is having a great week.

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Last but not least my TWO-FER TUESDAY picks:

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*I’m going to start taking weekly measurements and pictures. (I’ve got to start tracking my progress in a way that I can see results, even when the numbers aren’t dropping.)

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*I’m going to attempt to start eating at home more. (This is a major undertaking, because we don’t eat at home very often at all. As a matter of fact, the last time we ate at home was almost two weeks ago! It’s hard to control portions and calories when it’s being prepared by other hands.)

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Anyway, that’s it for this week.

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-Stephanie

I know we all struggle with staying motivated during this journey. When the weight doesn’t come off as fast as you want it to, when your next mini-goal seems out of reach, when you swear you can’t eat another salad, that’s when we need some inspiration.

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For some inspiration may take the form of a coveted pair of “skinny jeans” that are hanging in their closet. Just taking those jeans out and holding them up for a comparison is a kick in the behind to get going.

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Others may use a “skinny picture”, or a 3-D model, or a picture of their favorite celebrity as inspiration.

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Some of us use our blog as inspiration. Re-reading “before” entries reminds you where you were, and where you don’t want to be again.

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Some others use visualization to stay motivated. Closing your eyes and picturing yourself at goal is a strong morale boost.

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One of the best things about BuddySlim (and other sites of this nature) is that you can meet people that are going through the ups and downs while you are…and you can get motivation from each other. This isn’t really a new idea though, because I’m sure there were weight loss groups back when the WWW was nothing but BBSes.

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Anyway, there was a point to this post…and I’m getting to it.

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I’ve recently realized that I am MOST inspired by stories that include “Before and After” photographs. I love seeing the change. When people lose weight it completely changes them. Not only do they weigh less, but they stand a little taller, pull their shoulders back a little more, raise their chins in pride, and frankly, most of them just GLOW!

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Don’t believe me? Go to Google and do an image search with the key words “Before and After”, or go to 3FC and look at some people at goal there.

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I’m telling you…I WAN’T THAT! I want that self-confidence. I want to not only look good, I want to feel GREAT, and I want to feel good about myself. I want to be able to post my picture here next year and have a newbie see it and be inspired. I. WANT. THIS!

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What ispires you?

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Your goals, minus your doubts, equals your reality.

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-Ralph Marston

This is to answer Carrie’s question in the comments from my last blog entry:

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My joke about Atkins is because about 3 1/2 years ago I went on Atkins and lost about 35 pounds in a month! I was really happy with my weight loss, but I could never duplicate that, and ended up going on Phentermine (a prescription appetite supressant) to keep losing weight. I did lose a lot of weight, but I can’t say it was healthy or smart.

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Anyway, my thoughts on Atkins. Ultimately Atkins works by taking away our biggest source of calories..in the form of carbs. If you’re only eating meat, eggs and cheese with a few leafy greens tossed in…you’re also restricting the amount of calories that you eat, and the weight will just DROP off…and you think it’s because “I’m only eating 30 carbs a day!” when in reality it’s “I’m only eating 800 calories a day!”

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Does that make sense?

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Anyway, I have similar feelings about SBeach, because in the end of it all it works because you’re REDUCING YOUR CALORIE INTAKE.

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I’m almost 32 years old, and truthfully I just recently have I realized that reducing calorie intake while increasing your water intake and exercising several days a week is really the ONLY way any diet will work consistently.

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Whether it be SBeach, Atkins, WeightWatchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem or ANY of the better-known diets…they work by decreasing your calories.

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Now, let me make myself clear on one thing: I don’t really have any problem with ANY of those diets. Whatever one has to do to lose weight, as long as it is healthy, is good. Some people can’t tell themselves “I need to only eat 1800 calories today.” and then follow through with it. However, take that same person and tell them “At the end of the week you’re going to go to a meeting (WW), and step on a scale for EVERYONE to see how much you weigh.”…that’s some motivation there. When everyone else is dropping 1, 2, 3, even 5 pounds in a week…wouldn’t you want the same? I know I would!

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There’s things about those diets that work VERY WELL! I can’t say anything bad about them. It’s just not what will do it for me. Not right now anyway. Maybe when I get down to the last 30 pounds and I’m at a plateau and not making a pound of progress…maybe then I’ll need a little group motivation, but right now I’m trying a little do-it-yourself.

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I started here: http://www.caloriecontrol.org/calcalcs.html and then I’ve also been using the tools here: http://www.sparkpeople.com .

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I don’t want to sound like I’m some know-it-all or that I’m preaching…because I’ve only lost TWELVE pounds, but what I can say is that I finally feel like I understand the reason why I am losing weight. I feel like I’ve got this figured out. …and I’m on a roll.

My weight is still dropping…about 1-2 pounds a week. I’d love to drop 20 pounds by my birthday (July 24th)…but this is reality (not Atkins *cough cough*). The most amazing thing is that even though the pounds aren’t falling away…I think it’s more about inches lost.

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Today I realized that I don’t even have to unzip my jeans to pull them down. I also noticed that I can grab a handful of denim on each of my thighs and hips…these clothes are getting too big!

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WOW!

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I’ve been doing the stepper every evening for 15-20 minutes…which is about all I can take. My legs would keep going…but my heart won’t keep up. I’m really not supposed to be even DOING any exercise until I see a cardiologist…but I just can’t help it. I want to do good things for my body, and I know my limits. I know when my heart isn’t pumping enough blood to fuel my body…and I just have to stop.

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My elliptical should be here this evening…(I bought it on ebay!) I really can’t wait to use it. I feel like I’ll be able to do more with less stress on my heart.

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Anyway, 5:00 has crept up on me faster than I expected…and it’s time to go home. Have a great weekend everyone!

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~Stephanie

Boy, I don’t know why, but for some reason I just can’t seem to get my Tuesdays worked out so that I get the Two-fer entry done before the end of the day. I usually write it up in my email and then save it as a draft so that all I have to do is come here, paste it and submit. It sounds simple…but I just can’t seem to get it done. Anyway, here’s my entry from yesterday.

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It’s Tuesday again, and time for me two pick two more things I’m going to alter about my daily life that will help me continue with my lifestyle change. I’ve put quite a bit of thought into this, and every week I have to look a little deeper to make a decision. My new two changes are going to be:

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*I’m going to stop eating after 8:00 p.m. I know they recommend 7, but we’re night people and I’m rarely in bed before midnight. If I stop eating at 7, I’ll be hungry by bedtime, and then I’ll want to do something bad…which leads me to the second thing which is..

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*I’m going to reduce snacking. I know that SOME snacking is good, as long as it’s the right foods. However, if I open a TWINKIE and take a bite and then give the rest to my fiance’…that’s not classified as healthy snacking. (darn)

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I’ve got some other unhealthy habits that I need to work on as well…but hey it’s one step at a time, right?

It’s taken a week…but I finally feel recuperated from the 4th of July. It’s also taken a week for me to get my weight back under control. You see, on the 4th, when I had sworn I was NOT going to be good…I wasn’t. At all! I was horrible! I Ate like a little piggy…and OH the homemade vanilla ice cream! Mmmmm!

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I guess I can say that I wasn’t 100% off my program…because I didn’t drink any pop. I didn’t eat any fries. I ate breakfast. I ate a light, and healthy lunch. But boy, dinner…I really went OP.

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Eating a lot of food isn’t a reason to need to recover…but what I did AFTER I ate all that food IS! We got in the pool and played water volleyball for about 3 1/2 hours. Oh. My. Lord! The punishment! My arms hurt so bad for about 5 days afterwards. I have to say though, I had SO MUCH FUN!!! They started calling me TURBO because every time I served the ball I was shooting the ball at TURBO speed into the other teams side. My team won the first two games, got creamed on the third game, and the last game was a very close win for my team at 21/20! Talk about a workout.

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When I went back to work on Wednesday, it hurt to answer the phone, it hurt to open the filing cabinet, it hurt to do ANYTHING. The next day was even worse, and even by Friday my arms still felt like Jell-O. Ask me if I’d do it again? Heck yeah! In a heartbeat. Probably every day.

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Anyway, my weight did go up by 4 pounds. It took 6 days to get back to where I started. (All this AFTER my speech about eating too much salt and retaining water.) *sigh*

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So…back to where I was last Monday, and tomorrow is Two-fer Tuesday. I’ve got some thinking to do tonight, and since there’s a REALLY bad storm moving in as I type this, it’s probably a good time for me to say goodnight.

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Until tomorrow. -Stephanie

I’m at the 10 pound mark!!!

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This means that what I’m doing is actually WORKING! Saying no to second servings, no to dessert (most of the time), no to french fries and most junk food…it’s actually doing the trick! I haven’t even started working out yet!

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I’m not as strict with myself on the weekends as I am during the week. So yesterday we went to a family barbecue and had SO much fun. They had a live band, and there were probably 75 people there. TONS of food, but I was good. I had a burger, a little potato salad, baked beans and a handful of chips. I drank tea (no soda still) for the first glass…but nothing but water after that. Then at dessert I had some  homemade butterfinger ice cream. That was my splurge…so I tossed in a little piece of chocolate cake with it. It was SO good!

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I absolutely refuse to feel guilty for having fun. I don’t have anyone nagging me about my weight…I’m doing this for myself, so the only person to put pressure on me is ME…and I’m NOT GOING TO!

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Anyway…I’m going this afternoon to pick up a stair-stepper from a lady that saw my ad on freecycle. If you’ve never heard of freecycle, it’s a website where people can list things they want to get rid of, or for people to list things they need. (It reduces clutter in landfills from things that you don’t want, but maybe someone else does.) I put an ad in for exercise equipment…and she answered right away. Hey, the BEST stuff is FREE stuff!

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It’s been in the 100’s here…and the humidity makes it just suffocating outside. It’s hard on a body! I’m drinking tons of water, and wearing my sunscreen. …I’m ready for summer to start winding down!

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Alright…lots to do here before the new week starts so that’s all for now. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

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I went to McDonalds for lunch today. Everyone in my office kept telling me how great the Asian salad is. I decided I needed to try it…so I skipped my usual lunch at home and went and got the salad.

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Oh man, it’s a REALLY good salad. The (grilled) chicken is warm and sweet/spicy, the salad is cold and crunchy. The dressing is tart and brings everything together. It’s got little mandarin oranges and all kinds of beans and other greens. I thoroughly enjoyed the salad, until I decided to log onto www.mcdonalds.com and view the Nutritional Information.

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Holy. CRAP! There are only 380 calories, which is great for a great big salad like this. 37 carbs would make it a big no-no for the Atkins folks. 6g of fiber and 32g of protien are pretty good. But…the sodium! OH. MY. WORD! 1,570mg! One THOUSAND five HUNDRED and SEVENTY MG!

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I feel the migraine coming. My blood pressure meds won’t do anything to keep this down. My ankles will swell to twice their normal size. My eyelids will be puffy tomorrow.

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Sodium is our enemy!

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Damn you McDonalds for tricking me into eating something I thought would be GOOD for me!

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(By the way, if you think you can eat it without the chicken and lower your sodium intake you’re right, but only halfway. You’ll only get 35mg of sodium from the salad, but still 680mg from the dressing.)

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And last, for some information on what sodium does for dieters, look here. (Ad-based, but no pop-ups.)

It looks like I’m going to be losing weight one pound at a time. I guess I should be measuring weekly to track that progress, maybe I’ll notice a bigger difference in the tape measure than I have on the scale. But you know, it’s ok. I’m ok with losing it a pound at a time, as long as I keep losing it.

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So now I’m at 7 pounds down. I’m almost halfway to my first goal! (20 lbs)

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I’ve noticed that almost everyone has a weight ticker. Honestly, I’ve got one too, it’s just not public. So many of the tickers I see are for 10, 15, 20, 30 pound losses. Not to say that those numbers aren’t HUGE to someone else, or that they aren’t a MAJOR milestone for those people losing that amount…but when I see my ticker with 90 pounds to go…it just deflates me.

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I know I’m fat. I’ve seen the pictures. I see the number on the scale. I just hate being SO fat. If I was only trying to lose even 50 pounds I think I’d be ok with making my ticker public…but for right now it’s my enemy. Everyone in my family knows my weight, I just hate putting it here.

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I guess the biggest issue is that I’d just die if any of my friends, or old classmates, or ex boyfriends etc…was to accidentaly find me here and go “OH MY GOD SHE WEIGHS 2XX pounds!!!”

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It’s not just online. I don’t shop at certain stores because I might run into people, I refuse to go to the mall for that same reason, and worst of all, I won’t go to the church I want to go to because a lot of old friends go there.

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Oh man…I’m totally whining. These are all things that helped me come to the decision I made a few weeks ago. I’m working daily to change my body and my life, so that I won’t have these internal dialogues that just totally tear me up. I’m so tempted to go back and erase half of what I just wrote…but I’m not going to.

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I should be HAPPY for losing a pound, instead I’m depressed it wasn’t two. *sigh* …”Small victories are still victories.”